Evicted!

When I was in rehab, towards the end of the 28 day stay we all had to write "Goodbye" letters to our drug of choice. I decided to write and "Eviction" notice. It was the first thing (besides countless journal entries) that I had written in years. The first bit of creative writing. I must have wrote 15 drafts trying to get this one page letter right. It seems so ridiculous now. I didn't have to turn it in. I wasn't going to fail out of rehab. I did have to read it to a room full of people though, and god forbid if a bunch of drug addicts didn't like my little story:

Evicted

Booze-

This is your final eviction notice. Time's up! I've tried to be cordial about it and give you 30 days notice, but enough is enough. You've pushed me too far this time. The last party you threw completely destroyed my place. Oh, and don't think I don't know about the drug use going on. When, I saw the damage to my property I almost had a heart attack. I literally checked myself into the emergency room and had to be monitored all night. But, while I was there I came to the realization that it's time to make some changes to the old place. I'm only going to change one thing, however: Everything. You see, I like this property, so I'm not going anywhere. I've enlisted some "higher-ups" to come tear the place down, preferably with you in it. I'm not even going to look at the plans, I know this team is going to do a great job. The only drawback is that these union workers like to take their time. I've got all the time in the world, though. You, my friend, do not.

So, if I haven't made myself clear...

Get the fuck out!

Thank you,

Your landlord

Even now, while typing that, I wanted to re-word all of it...