So, I've decided to change my blog. I know my two followers will be devastated, but that was then and this is now. It's time to move forward.
The old deal was supposed to be about learning to live life, and at that time it seemed my life was all about sobriety. But, that's not me. I mean, I am sober, but sobriety does not define who I am. Other than the fact that I have to monitor it every second of every day for the rest of my life, I rarely think about being sober. It's not like I'm planning to make a career out of it... Oh, wait. Well, I can cross that bridge when I get there.
For now, however, there is the other me that is running around like a fucking chicken with my head cut off, trying to make sense of this seemingly meaningless world and the people in it. Yeah, I said meaningless. That's how I feel. I mean, I didn't ask to be born into this world, and yet, here I am with a list of rules to follow. And, these are the type of rules that tell you what you can't do, not what you're supposed to do. I feel just as lost as when I was 13 and had a face full of acne and a constant boner. Except now, I don't have someone holding my hand and saying, "Belt tuck that erection, son. It's time to get to your next class." I've got to figure this shit out all on my own, and it's scary as hell.
Now, I understand that I'm 31 and I should have this shit figured out by now, but you have to remember, I've been in an alcohol induced coma for the past 10 years. (I don't think anyone will ever understand how unbelievably bad it got.) Plus, I don't think anyone ever really figures this out. And, that's got to be beauty of it all, right? The meaning behind this? Everyday, when we make the choice to get up and face this scary fucking world, we are making something out of nothing. We are creating art with every breath.
I want to share my art with you.
So, sometimes I'm going to feel like saying cheesy shit like, "I want to share my art with you." And, sometimes I'm going to want to say, "Fuckity fuck fuck!!" Other times, I might feel like expressing my disdain for Asians with blond hair, and in the same breath might talk about the beautiful baby hummingbird I saw yesterday. I might even share the story of the time I fell over, but ass naked, and landed ass first on a plate containing a mountain of Sriracha and a scalding hot Hot Pocket. I don't even know where I'm going with this right now...
...Okay, I blacked out there for a second. I'm back! Literally and figuratively. And, in honor of this new direction I'm going, I made today a "day of firsts". I shaved my beard into a mustache fit for porn, signed up for Twitter, and ate my first Big Mac ever. And, I'll be the first to say, my life is like an Amish porn, Twitter is kinda lame (after attacking it like Charlie Sheen all day), and the Big Mac left my body quicker than it went in.
I wish I had some way to finish up this nonsense...
