Happy 4th!

   I wrote this last 4th of July after downing my third cup of coffee and anxiously awaiting my first alcohol free Independence Day since, well, I don't know.  You can tell I was still a little bitter about not being "allowed" to drink. I quote that to emphasize the sarcasm in the statement. Be safe and take a moment to appreciate the people you spend this day with.


       Oh, the Fourth of July. America's Independence Day. A time for all red-blooded Americans to come together over their good ol' Webber grills and celebrate our nation's freedom. A time to reflect back on generations before us and a time to huddle with our future generations to watch the sky ignite in a rainbow of fire. It's a time where for at least just one moment we can remember, We all make up one nation under God.
       It's also a time to say, "Fuck it!" And drink 'till you forget who you are. It's a time to remember that the only thing in your stomach is good 'ol American Budwiser, and force yourself to eat the last cold and blackened, sand encrusted wiener from the Webber. It's a time to embrace your freedom while you're floating on a raft, drinking your Pabst just outside the reach of the long arm of the law. It's a time to blow up a watermelon with a stick of dynamite.
       So, as you ride off into the night on a bike you just found, under the red, white and blue explosions in the sky, remind yourself, We are one nation under God, therefore, "This bike is my bike, too!"
                                                                   Happy 4th

It rained the other day

            The other day I washed my car and it rained right afterward. This isn’t an unusual occurrence, or for that matter a common occurrence, except for the fact that I didn’t notice it happened.

            Let me back up. So, a couple of days back I decided to wash my car because, well, it seems I have nothing better to do on a gorgeous, sunny afternoon. After driving around town letting the car drip dry, and checking several Redboxes for “Monsters vs. Aliens,” I headed home. As I stepped out of my car and looked out towards the bay, not only could I see the rain approaching, but I could smell it and feel it in the air. The sky had an ominous red tone, and the air actually had a noticeable weight to it. I took a deep breath, smiled and enjoyed the view for a moment. I decided to go in when I realized it probably looked strange that I was standing in the middle of the road sniffing the atmosphere. The fact that I had just washed my car had escaped me. I welcomed the rain.

            Later, while sitting on the couch reading, I began to hear heavy rain drops hitting the tile of the entryway to my building. I opened my blinds and cracked the window to fully experience this sudden spring rain. The thought crossed my mind how strange it was that it had been such a beautiful day and now it was raining, but never once did I connect those thoughts to having just washed my car.

            The next day, as I walked out of my building, I noticed my neighbors black car covered in little craters of dirt where it had been repeatedly hit by those heavy drops from the previous night. I looked at my car, parked in front of hers, and it was spotless. I still didn’t really make the connection, the connection I’m referring to, at this point. I just sort of acknowledged the fact that my car was cleaner because I had washed it the day before and got in and drove away.

            It wasn’t until later, when I was sitting in Balboa Park, that I had this strange realization. It had rained right after I washed my car and I hadn’t even noticed. I few weeks back when I washed my car and it didn’t rain, I surely noticed.

            This was big. Now, I know it’s bizarre that I’m noticing the thoughts that I’m not noticing, but those thoughts let you appreciate, even more, all the other mindless thinking. It’s hard to step back and take in the whole picture of anything, especially life. But, but only when we do can we notice or create change.

            For much of my adult life I have felt the world is out to get me, but due to a random rain shower I had the opportunity to notice that for once, the world had nothing to do with my internal state of being. It rained because it rained. That’s it. Not because I had just washed my car, and it always rains after I wash my car. Not because that’s how my luck works, or because that’s my lot in life. It rained because it rained. I had the perfect opportunity to turn this into a negative thought, and I didn’t. Furthermore, it became and even more positive thought with the realization that I’m changing. I’ve put incredible effort into improving my life, and I’m noticing and appreciating the rewards.

            It would seem, if even for today, the world is not out to get me anymore. My luck isn’t changing for the better or worse on a day-to-day basis. For that matter, there really are no good or bad days; there are just days, and I, a good person, exist within them.