Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A letter to a friend

Here's where I'm going to get philosophical... ready. (I'm sure you have thought about this stuff to an extent. You're very smart. Doesn't hurt to hear it again. Honestly, a lot of this has been picked up here and there a long the way, and I have chosen to own it.)
You truly become your thoughts. Your thoughts become actions, and your actions create the reality that you live in. I thought the world was a very horrible place for a long time because I was a negative piece of shit. I criticized everything and had to prove everyone wrong (I still do this, but I do it when it's stuff I'm interested in and I want to talk about it. People just think I'm being a know it all, but I'm just super excited to talk about sciency stuff. Ass!) I increasingly started to become more and more miserable, and it started to show in my attitude, my physical appearance and overall life in general.
If you change the way you look at things, what you look at changes. This is the hardest thing in the world to to. You have to start spotting your faulty beliefs, then tell yourself not to think those things, even though it's the only way you have ever thought. You have to fucking battle your own mind. It's very strange to try and tell yourself that YOU are lying to YOU, and not listen. But, this is what you have to do. Spot the faulty thinking, and don't listen to yourself. Ever. Even when you seem right. You are your own worst enemy. (Although, eventually you will become right. Right?)
How do you do this? I don't know. You start learning how to look, I guess. In every situation you have infinite choices and endless points of view. None of which are wrong.
You see the same shit the same way every single day. We start to forget that there are infinite ways of approaching and looking at life. We think, because we are very egotistical, that our way is the only way. We don't make a conscious connection to this, but trust me this is how we, as humans, work. The only metaphor I can give you to help you see how to switch your perspective is this: Have you ever driven in the passenger seat of your own car? Probably not in a while. (Seriously have someone drive you around in your car sometime this week.) It is so fucking weird. Everything is exactly the same, but completely different. That's how you need to start looking at life. You need to move over and sit in the passenger seat of life. It opens up a whole new world. Your vision isn't just focused on what is directly in front of you. You can look around, relax and enjoy yourself, all from the same vehicle.
When you start to fix the thinking, your whole world changes. It doesn't come over night, so you just have to accept this. Make a decision right now to start living and thinking differently, and believe with all your heart that in time you will change; physically and mentally. You won't really notice it happening, but others around you will. You just focus your energy on being a good person. On being the best person you can be to yourself, and to others. The rest will fall into place with time. Time is not your enemy! It is on your side! If you expect to make a lasting change in yourself, you have to invest serious time. If you believe with all your heart, and have faith in yourself, that you can change, you can actually start living that life right now. If you know you're going to be a truly happy, stress free person six months from now... start living that way in your head today. Live the present like it's tomorrow. (I know there's all this hype about living in the now, but if your present moment is miserable, live like it's tomorrow.)
I'm living proof of this! How the hell do you think I have made it this far? I was riddled with anxiety, couldn't sit still, scared that my whole life was changing, afraid, sad, lonely... but I knew with all my heart that if I kept working my ass off I would come out of this okay. I have never seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been scared from day one! But I keep faith that each day will get better than the last, even when I feel that there is no way it will. And, every time things are at their worst, and I feel like I want to die, I push harder!! And, even when there seems no fucking end to that, I push harder still!! And, every time... every single time I have felt at my lowest, I break out of it and think, God Damn! This life is amazing!
Life is amazing! So, start living today as if it is... even if you don't necessarily believe it yet. ;)

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